I wwill be honest and say that it’s pretty hard to guess what level of pain I’m tolerating just by the look on my face.

But it can look like this:

or this…

Or even this. It’s all the same person, same timeline. Thursday will be 17 weeks, and my eyes are going stormy grey again. (my eyes are variously described as Hazel, heterochromatic, grey, or WTF (in my defence, someone made me incandescent angry. Apparently you get me to that point and I have demon eyes, like Supernatural. (all black to the edges of my iris). Stormy grey though… that’s what the pain is.

I do of course cheat, or will soon, as I’ve had my eyes tested again, so actually the shade my eyes happen to be will change anyway. Contact lenses for the win.

Today though. Long, sore day. Long, tiring day.

But what does invisible illness look like? Is it a slight tremor?
Hesitation? Bloodshot eyes?
Weight or puffiness around faces and only tilting your chin one way to look at someone?
Avoiding the faster tilt to prevent the crack, the brief release, and then the worse pain?

Or is it a tired smile, an “I’m just sore, it’s fine”, or completely hidden?

I ccan tell you for all of the above, yes.

For me though, it’s also wearing longer synthetic pony tails to cover up how short my hair is, how thin it is. It’s fussing with makeup. It’s having to sit in a bath for hours cause it’s the quietest and sometimes darkest place in the room and easiest to adjust my temperature. It’s only being in there ten minutes because if you stay longer you can’t walk.

Its *never* having anywhere near enough spoons.
And eyes fading because they do when you are knackered.

In short?
A headache can look like anything. Most invisible illnesses look like nothing is wrong. But cause if we want a chance at time with the people we love, that’s what we have to do.